My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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