There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I came so hard my ears popped.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
