the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
