You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
