i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
