Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
