Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
