I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
