NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
