ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
