My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
