You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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