I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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