On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
