Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
