There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
