he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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