sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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