I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
