okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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