people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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