What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
