i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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