i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
