Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
