Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
