does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
