Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
