Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
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