Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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