A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
where are my eyebrows?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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