i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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