dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
