I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
