Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
