Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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