I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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