you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
