I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
