my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
