based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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