Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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