Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
