apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
