Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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