So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
