can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
