I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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