do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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