What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
