She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
